loladelphia:

Sometimes it is good to stare at the ground while you walk and pick up the trash that you find. I found this bag of chips while walking along Ridge Avenue where it is crossed by 27th Street in the Strawberry Mansion neighborhood of North Philadelphia. Here is what you’ve been missing, if you’re not eating “Homegirls:”

This is freaking hilarious. I love how hard they are trying to appeal to everyone who lives in the city, and I especially love that inspirational blurb on the back of the bag. I feel pretty inspired…to go buy a bag of Herr’s chips. By the way, Maria is pretty hot in her jean shirt and jeans.

loladelphia:

Just another day of shopping in Philadelphia.

It’s not often we see “jawn” out in the wild like this. This is the equivalent of walking down the street and seeing a bald eagle!

loladelphia:

Meanwhile, in Mayor Nutter’s thoughts…

“Oh Jay-Z. You are so powerful holding that microphone. You are everything I’d want to be if I didn’t have to be Philadelphia’s mayor. Please look at me just once. I would melt like a popsicle on a hot steamy day. It would really butter my bread if you sang “Rapper’s Delight.” That’s my jam, and I promised Philly I wouldn’t sing it anymore. I got 99 problems, but you aren’t one Jay. Oh heavens, I feel a swoon coming on!”

loladelphia:

Devoured a plate of nachos at El Vez, now eating some amazing wooder ice from John’s at 7th and Christian. No spoon, no problem.

loladelphia:

This is located on the sidewalk around the corner from the main entrance of Eastern State Penitentiary.

I absolutely love this. Not only as a tribute to Monopoly, but as one of those little things that makes people smile and makes Philly great.

papelbottomjeans:

Brian Dawkins throws out the first pitch for the Phillies.

All this BDawk stuff is so beautiful. I leapt out of the shower when I found out about the things Saturday morning. And I cried. Oh how I cried.

For those of you unfamiliar with Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets, I weep for you. Seriously.

Our signature sponge cake, which is both moist and fluffy, is either accented with our legendary butterscotch icing or infused with a variety of delicious jellies. The perfect handheld treat, Krimpets have been one of Tastykake’s icon product since their introduction in 1927.

NO JELLY KRIMPETS.

(AND KANDY KAKES CAN JUST GTFO)

(Source: tastykake.com)

loladelphia:

Aw shit, it’s your old head Chris-Stackz 215 aPHILLYated ready to peep some ill shit for all the young buls out there. So please, lets not be acting all jo and shit. Seriously, stop drawlin and spicin shit, unless you want me in my bag. Lets just get through this jawn. Bet? Bet. Leggo!

Today’s “How to Speak Philadelphian” is “salty,” but in order to achieve the true Philadelphian experience, it must be pronounced “sal-dee.” When someone be acting all salty, it usually follows an argument of some sort, of which Philadelphians seem to engage in quite frequently. The action of “being salty” occurs when someone is wrong in an argument, and they are upset about being wrong. If someone is particularly upset following a dispute, one can say, “Hey, did you have a TV dinner last night? Because you acting really fuckin’ salty!”

So, in order to prevent anyone from accusing you of being salty, if you wrong, you wrong. That’s just that. Admit it, move on, and keep it a bean. Alright, I’m out. Later haters.

Example:

“That old head at 52nd Street be acting all salty because I wouldn’t pay 70 dollars for a pair of ocky Nikes. Fuck outta here, old head. The swoosh is going the wrong way!”

Main Line Translation:

“Oh heavens! I was at the outlet stores in Reading and it appears a rather questionable gentleman is selling a pair of counterfeit Nike sneakers! I was deeply offended, and I told him that I was going to report him to my local congressman! The gentleman was so rude, he just told me to leave! Well, I was steamed, so I ended up getting an extra large soy latte later to take my mind off that rude encounter (but don’t tell my hubby!!).”

—————-

Be sure to check out our compilation of jawns.

loladelphia:

#Real rap

loladelphia:

This shirt is being sold by the good people over at Cheesesteak Tees, which is that terrific t-shirt shop on South Street.

How I feel about this shirt how I imagine the person who invited the peanut butter and jelly sandwich felt when they tasted their creation. I have a Tastykake shirt, I have a jawn shirt. This just mashes those two amazing things together into a clusterfuck of awesome.

loladelphia:

Swoop likes to read “A Very Hungry Caterpillar” when he goes to take a shit.

The Eagles really should have thought this one through, even if a lot of people do their best reading on the toilet.

loladelphia:

Aight, I’m back from hibernation. After smoking a dutch with my young bul who live at 2nd and Clearfield and playing some ma’fuckin’ X-Box, we got on the EL and went to 52nd Street so my mans could buy some ocky Polo shirts and a fresh pair of Air Jordans. While we was there, some ignorant boy start messing with us, getting all jo and shit. He was drawlin, real shit. Before I rumbled the bul, I say to him, “Yo cuz, keep it a bean,  I’ma fuck you up,” 

So, what do “keep it a bean” mean? It’s more than just some shit that rhymes. It means that I was keeping it real. Keeping it fresh. I was stating a known fact. I’ma keep it a bean, you know what I mean? When some young bul start getting in my face because he want to rumble, I’ma keep it a bean before I fuck the bul up.

*Note: When said, the words should be said as if they’re all one word. So “keep it a bean” should be said “keepitabean.” Say that five times fast!

Example:

Yo, if my young bul don’t get here soon, keep it a bean I’ma just go to the dollar party without him.

Main Line Translation:

Oh darn it, now I’m really steamed. I mean, I am just ever so frustrated. If my young friend does not return with my “Burn Notice” season 2 DVD set, I am going to have to call him back…but I have to wait until my iPhone finishes charging in my friend’s Prius. He’s at Whole Foods right now picking up some delicious hummus!!

For other  How to Speak Philadelphian posts, keep it a bean and check out our compilation of jawns.

Obviously.

(Source: watchoureaglesfly)